May 3rd, 2012

TWI – Moving Notes

Total: -27.8

Well, I’m slowly but constantly climbing up. I was down about 35 lbs at my lowest, but have gained in the past few weeks. Y’all, preparing for a move is HARD! Harder now than it was when I moved from North Carolina to Indiana nearly five and a half years ago. On top of the moving logistics, my work is behind – and a little frantic about losing a team member (aka me.) Friday is my last day in my normal department. Then, hopefully, things will calm down for me work-wise. It will be stressful, as I will be training for two weeks. But at least there will be no more required 50 hour weeks and hours of working at home after work.

Totally moving away from talking about my weight loss (or gain, as this week may be) and focusing on the move- I keep noticing things I will miss. While in college in North Carolina, I didn’t make many connections with doctors, hairdressers, etc, because I knew I’d be gone after I graduated. I moved to Indiana and eventually expected to stay a while. That makes some things hard to leave.

The one thing I didn’t really amass while I was here? Friends. I have one really great girlfriend, Lyd, who was practically Big Daddy’s sister growing up. The rest of my girlfriends have mostly been coworkers, which trickled in and out with my job losses and changes. I’ve kept up with many of them, but mostly virtually. We don’t have coffee dates, or go to the movies, or happy hour. Some of Big Daddy’s guy friends have really nice wives/girlfriends, but they, for the most part, were pretty set in their own little groups of their perma-Indiana friends. While there are some wonderful women that I’ve gotten to meet, there are really only one or two of them that I feel really comfortable around and closer with. But most people in Indiana that I’ve come across are pretty set in their friendships and not looking to grow their group.

Coworkers are very hard to keep in touch with, but I will have to try with two of the girls I work with now. They make it EASY to come to work because I enjoy seeing them daily. And I know that B’s guy friends’ wives that are awesome will be joining us for visits down in Florida – those are effortless, casual friendships that pick up easily where they left off when traveling to see friends for weddings and golf weekends. And I know Lyd will be forced down to visit me, not that convincing her will be hard! But leaving Indiana is not like leaving New Jersey, my only true home. That was hard. And it keeps getting harder. Some friends have forgotten me. Purposely or not, they’ve moved on. I am hurt with every shower or wedding invite that I don’t receive but see photos of on facebook, events for people who came to my shower or bachelorette party without a second thought. Some of my Jersey friends have moved- NYC, Pittsburgh, Maryland, Boston, Chicago, and back- and they all get it. They get what it’s like to leave home and have your heart in multiple places. I am lucky that those people know what it’s like to leave our tiny town and have kept in touch. Some friends haven’t though, and I guess it’s convenient to forget friends who are miles away, when you’ve never left yourself. Luckily, my bridesmaids and a few other friends are always there, so I know those friendships are forever – whether they like it or not!

What’s the point of this story? Well, that maybe I’m a little sadder about leaving Indiana because of some “small sads.” I’ll miss my doctor. With his pug-owning, fantastic staff and constant jokes, I enjoyed putting my trust in that team. I’ll miss my hairdresser- who sounds like Natasha from Rocky & Bullwinkle and tells me the best stories about Russia, dating, and her college soccer-star son. I’ll miss the checkout lady at Kroger who rescued a Doxie (that was near starvation) and always updates me on how it’s doing. Those little interactions become important, not because the people are close to you, but because those interactions with them matter. The familiarity makes me feel like I’m home, even when Indiana doesn’t feel that way. Saying goodbye to these mainstays surprisingly puts a little tug in my heart that seems to say, “you’re really leaving.”

I always figured that if/when I left Indiana, I’d be leaving a rich network of connections and friendships. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed that I’m not leaving with a vast expanse of wonderful relationships. It happens. But I did meet some amazing people, and a select few incredible, lifelong friends. Plus, I am hopeful to make some really good friends in Florida. People who are in town, couples that can come over to drink wine and play board games. I know I’ll have to actually try more- it became really easy not to try the longer I lived here. And with having no coworkers besides my pugs, I am going to be forced to get out there. I need to make room for new people in my life, and drop the old friendships where I’m the only one holding on.

In summary: can’t all you internet friends of mine just move to Orlando? That would make life a lot easier.

Oh and in case you aren’t a tweet-er like me and didn’t see this, here I am with the house we’ll be renting! The lease and payment were signed and delivered today. Can’t wait til move-in!

PS- I don’t have cankles. I was bending my knees awkwardly. My ankles are actually very nice.

5 comments to TWI – Moving Notes

  • As a fellow chronic mover, I know exactly what you mean. I’ve been gone from my last “hometown” for 7 years now, and people are always surprised when they ask who I’m visiting when I come up and it’s just my family and best friend. I don’t really have any buddies left there. If husband and I leave southern california, we’ll be feeling the same way as you are. The good news is you’re freaking awesome and will find other awesome peoples immediately :D

  • Congrats on finding a house to rent!

    And next time we go to Florida, sometime over the next 2 years to visit my family in law, we are totally going to meet up! With Hannah too!

  • hooooooray! you found a house! I knew you could find something! :) Enjoy the move, training, new gig, etc and so forth. Once you’re settled and I’m not birthing a baby – ORLANDOOOOOOOOOOOOOO fun times. Or Tampa fun times. Or whatever.

  • Congrats on the casa! I am so happy that things are falling into place for you guys. Moving is always hard but you will make a new life for you, B and the pugs. It has potential to be a better future for you all. And just remember, Clearwater is a short drive away. If you ever need a friend, I am here for you.

    A

  • I am in the same boat and for the past months in Sweden I had been tricking myself to think otherwise but my trip home last week really proved who were my friends vs acquaintances and while it hurt a few people did not make an effort to see me at least I knew those that did really cared for me and I can turn to them any time no matter how far I am.

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