September 26th, 2012

Snake Buddies

I blogged a little while ago about the changes our pugs have encountered since we moved to Florida. The climate and wildlife have been a huge change for me. One of the delightful things I mentioned was the snake I saw in our yard.

Well, make that three sightings. I saw another one yesterday morning, but luckily it was just a tiny garter snake. In fact, I think he’s my new buddy, since he slowly moved out of the way so Sophie wouldn’t step on him. And he was kind of cute. KIND OF.

But what I neglected to share with you all was the encounter that took approximately five years off my life, a few weeks ago.

I get up every morning somewhere around 7:30 or 7:45 am. I take the pugs out, turn on the coffee maker, and immediately start working. No shower. Still in PJ’s. It’s painfully easy and why you don’t see pictures of my weekday face, well, ever.

This particular morning, it was about a quarter til and I was watching the pugs do their business in our backyard. It’s zone defense with three pugs and one KJ. They all went in their own directions. I turned to look at Dixie – our VERY SPECIAL little girl – and she was walking to the corner of the yard.

Walking toward… something in the grass.

Or, more accurately, a huge black snake.

I tried to yell at her to get away. “Dixie. Dixie! DIIIXXXXXXXXIEEEEEEEEEE!” That last “Dixie” reaching a decible that I did not know my body was capable of.

Oh and did I mention I was about 4 feet from our neighbor’s bedroom? I’m sure they love us.

Dixie definitely touched the snake. It raced away faster than I knew a snake could move (as in, it could lap me when I do C25K around the neighborhood. And probably will.)

Dixie ran up to me with a smile on her face like, why wouldn’t I be proud of her making a new friend, right?

(Photoshop courtesy of my awesome Twinner. Snake to Bugg size ratio may be slightly exaggerated.)

I basically felt those five years exit my body and dragged the pugs immediately inside. Google told me it was probably a black racer, a long, black, (thankfully) non-venomous snake.

Luckily a friend let me know that they will charge at humans when provoked. So I just want to let you all know, if you don’t see any facebook posts, tweets, or instagrams for a while… I probably had a black racer charge at me in the yard one morning and never recovered. That is a “goodbye forever” situation requiring institutionalization. In related news, if anyone knows Billy the Exterminator in real life, I’d love to have him come live in our guest room and protect us… so set that up if possible, thanks!

10 comments to Snake Buddies

  • I would die! I have never in my life been further south than Ohio and the creepy crawlies are the reason why!

  • Twinner

    I don’t know why, but this post made me laugh so hard I was crying. I just love when weird things happen to you because they make me feel better about myself. I also can’t stop giggling about him lapping you at C25k. There really is a good chance of it…

    The 5 years shaved off my life by the wolf-spider-on-face now puts us back on equal Twinner timelines. We are in this together!!!

  • I would have 100% freaked out and then packed my bags and moved. Or called some type of exterminator, then paved the backyard and put up a concrete fence. Snakes scare the SHIT out of me. You have no idea… This took 5 years off my life just reading it.

  • AW hell no. No way. I don’t do snakes!!

  • You make me laugh so hard. I would be just as freaked out. Have I told you my snake dream?

    I had a dream that my husband bought a snake (as a pet). It was huge and one day I noticed the cage empty. It was then that I saw white fur coming out of a snake’s mouth. Yup…he ate our cat.

    I made my husband promise that he would never buy a snake. Here’s the oath:

    I, T, promise to never buy a snake as a pet so that our kitties will stay safe.

  • I would have died. Legit 100% would have croaked right then & there. EEEEEEK :(

  • ughhhhh. i would have 100% freaked out! snakes are one of those creatures that i like to keep my distance from…

  • Oh yes, Florida has lots of lovely wildlife. We have snakes up here, too. Julia and I will be playing in the back yard and a little black one will slither by. YUCK!

  • Dancy

    Dude — Terminex. Fuh reel.

  • Bahahaha! I HATE THOSE SNAKES!!!! My parents have topiaries in front of their house and as I was walking up the front steps one day, one of those blasted things stuck its head out of the pom right by my face and stared at me. I think the entire neighborhood heard me scream. *Shudder*

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