So I’m back to exactly where I was two weeks ago. Thus, the DeLorean.
I love when I am able to regain ground I lost to a weight gain, but man does it feel annoying. I’m living two weeks in the past. If I hadn’t screwed up, I could have been where I’ll be next week, last week. If you follow that. So yeah… it’s annoying, and I kick myself a bit.
Being sick screwed me up a bit this week (and I had Mexican last night and went over on calories a bit, so I was a little surprised I lost, since I usually get sodium-bloated after eating out something like MEXICAN 12 hours before weigh-in.)
The last time I ran was Sunday. I was starting to feel really icky but thought, hey, a run will help! Endorphins! Outdoors! Nope. I was totally wrong and ended up feeling probably worse. But the worst part? Due to my halfway coherent state, I accidentally did the wrong week. I had been re-doing week 3 (barely surviving) and instead of doing my sixth day of week 3, I did week 4. I realized after my first “run” section went longer than usual… I looked down and saw “Week 4 Day 1″ and almost immediately puked. For a moment I felt like… This was meant to be! I can do this! I have to do this! About two minutes later though I was wondering where I could find a wheelchair. I DID do it, but I didn’t feel like I conquered it. I barely survived it.
My first two weeks, I loved running. I mean, I didn’t LOVE the running part, but I looked forward to it, and it made me feel strong, and capable, and like I had accomplished something. I felt better after my run. I felt hopeful that I would improve. I felt proud.
Starting with week 3, I felt very differently about it. I felt out of shape, discouraged, embarrassed, and doubtful. Doubtful that I even could improve. I hated how it flipped like that. I missed my 60 and 90 second runs. Three minute runs killed me. The five minute runs devastated me. I hated feeling so not able to do the program.
My friend Lisa from Buffet Laps luckily stepped up and made me feel better and hopeful about my relationship with running. I didn’t realize it until we talked, but she doesn’t run straight through without stopping… she uses Jeff Galloway‘s method based on her pace using intervals like 60:60 or 30:30. So like 60 seconds running, then 60 seconds walking. This is basically what I did during the first two C25K weeks. And I enjoyed that!
Lisa and I are going to go for a run together on Saturday (yay Florida friends!) and if I enjoy the Galloway method I’ll buy the app (I think it’s like $3 or $4) and start doing that. As someone who is mostly sedentary, I know any moving will help me out. I may not run a 5k without stopping, like I had hoped I would. Or maybe I will, but it will take longer to get there than I thought. I just don’t think running – in that non-stop form – is for everyone. That thought plagued me while running week 3 and 4… Maybe I’m just not cut out for this. Hopefully this will be a different option for me to be active and healthy without feeling like a failure.
And because I hate writing posts that don’t have pictures… here’s this gem from Mexican last night. Just in case you thought I was lookin’ good lately.
B was taking pictures of me after dinner to annoy me. Like trying to catch sneaky pictures of me. And I knew he was doing it. I called him out and he said “No, I’m on facebook!” and did a half-assed, obviously fake attempt at scrolling that any lab monkey could do. So I imitated him, and he caught this adorable photo. Because he wasn’t on facebook.
Don’t let my ego get too big, people.
PS… I may be down 43 lbs but B is now down 68.2 lbs! So I guess he earned the right to take horrible photos of me at least once in reward for that amazing weight loss.